Covenant

Many have abandoned the wives of their youth

Wives deemed mentally ill, depressed, imbalanced, unwell, 

 

They have taken more youthful wives 

They have moved on with their lives

 

How much can you serve a person 

who is ill in their mind?

 

You can tend to their body,

But their soul is cracked,

 

They don’t get up from the couch,

They plague you with special extreme diets for fake illnesses, 

 

You just can’t live with them

You can live better without them

 

And I can’t quite bear it

The leaving of your covenant to pursue one more convenient

 

But I have not been in that dynamic

And I am a woman, so maybe I have too strong of a bias to defend my sex

 

I know that there is great sadness in the forsaking

Liberation for one and desolation for another, 

 

Or is she liberated too? 

From one who didn’t want to or couldn’t care for her? 

 

I don’t know, I just feel the depth of sorrow of God loving one who keeps breaking covenant, 

Until he seals a new covenant with his own blood 

 

And all adulterers and ill people are invited in to partake, 

to dine at the table of forgiveness

 

And eat the broken bread of his body, and drink the wine of his shed blood,

As one. 

They have taken more youthful wives 

They have moved on with their lives

 

How much can you serve a person 

who is ill in their mind?

 

You can tend to their body,

But their soul is cracked,

 

They don’t get up from the couch,

They plague you with special extreme diets for fake illnesses, 

 

You just can’t live with them

You can live better without them

 

And I can’t quite bear it

The leaving of your covenant to pursue one more convenient

 

But I have not been in that dynamic

And I am a woman, so maybe I have too strong of a bias to defend my sex

 

I know that there is great sadness in the forsaking

Liberation for one and desolation for another, 

 

Or is she liberated too? 

From one who didn’t want to or couldn’t care for her? 

 

I don’t know, I just feel the depth of sorrow of God loving one who keeps breaking covenant, 

Until he seals a new covenant with his own blood 

 

And all adulterers and ill people are invited in to partake, 

to dine at the table of forgiveness

 

And eat the broken bread of his body, and drink the wine of his shed blood,

As one. 

Immigrants

My heart is moved by the Chinelo flame

I speak aloud the name

"immigrants" 

unprotected from the covenant of citizenship 

justice obstructed so I lament 

"immigrants" 

the name that's profiled and reviled

held in custody, abducted abruptly 

"immigrants" 

working, building, hustling, grinding

providing for generations to keep on surviving 

"immigrants" 

Seen as 'the help' and demeaned and condescended to 

Invisible as the force undergirding your lifestyle too

"immigrants" 

these unseen hands that keep you clean and fed

these 'unskilled' hands that make your daily bread

"immigrants" 

Gifted the 'Chinelo' dignified resistance

Strengthening the resilience that persists against ignorance 

"immigrants" 

this nation was built by them, whatever generation

overcoming fragmentation, disintegration, assimilation 

"immigrants" 

a gift for and to and from all nations 

to this nation, out of many, one 

On the way

God will meet me on the pilgrim way 

Pilgrimage to his face 

Sun never setting

Love never relenting

Fearless intrepid adventurer 

is not what it feels like, 

it’s what I am, what I'm doing. 

I'm on the way. 

He makes my rough places a plain

Seeds of chaos bloom

and there is no rest

Cut off from self,

I'm stuck

who will bring me back to me? 

Not how it's supposed to be 

This is ruined 

I wrecked it

or was I wrecked?

The weary victim/hero/villain.

Fear and trembling

overwhelm/peace

dark/light

chaos/order

fill me, flame me, restore me. 

Retracing trajectories
holding tightly
(held)

I can't ungrip your grip

because I'm not in control
But I'm lit
from a fire within
and without. 

My name, my joy

Leaping in yet untasted streams  

Alive in beauty 

Being known

to myself,

to God,

to others. 

Such a beautiful garden 

Each flower, precious

unique and special to the gardener

planted, tended

nurtured,

pruned. 

Growing,

together. 

Honoring Carmela (Only love)

You've known her presence all your life,

she carried you inside her,

breathing as one. 

Too few the moments- watching your daughter smile as your mother held your grandson, 

four generations,

together.

Words are not sufficient to bridge 

the chasm of loss;

only love can do that.

The love of God poured out like a mother-

sacrifice. 

She is forever held in the arms of God, 

in your memories, 

in our hearts; 

Honoring together your precious mother Carmela. 

Bombardment

Hurling toward an unknown end, 

skidding without brakes/bracing 

for catastrophic fallout. 

Rumors of financial collapse 

of the interconnected chains of supply

global economy; bye-bye.

Do we spend or save

buy or sell 

how do we eat- how do we live? 

How to prepare for the future-

overwhelming bombardment 

arrows of fear wounding.

Scaffolds and waves

Ricocheting,

looming over me. 

Survival is simple

but .... accustomed to comfort,

access, and ease. 

Vanishing Familiarity. 

So I request wisdom to foretell 

and dismiss the hindsight shame.

To harbor hope

to believe with hope

surrendering my control.

Trusting 

an unknown future 

to a known God.

Don’t stop remembering

The memorial is tended, with love and tokens are curated because it is a physical way to pour out the loveangergriefconfusionsorrow we are collectively carrying. I made my pilgrimage to visit the historical landmark identified on Google Maps as 3343 Portland which is where you told him you weren’t mad at him, but he didn’t believe you and in fear and power he memorialized your name as a symbol of resistance against tyranny. It is not good, to be a martyr and make a widow and orphans. But it is good to remember and write poetry and try to pray. Maybe God smelled like fermeldehyde and was a fad to this dear poet, but the God I know is weeping here with me as one who was also killed at the whims of empire, the God of embracing the immigrant and poor and forgotten no matter what what has been plagiarized. The painted rocks and posters, embroidery and artwork, they’re all prayers, don’t forget and don’t stop remembering.