Humbling critics

Writing a proposal allows me to find out how poorly I write. In an earlier draft I wrote that the “results found that xxx.”

Which made sense to me, in my head…and luckily my adviser and reviewer extraordinaire pointed out “results don’t find. Researchers find or results show.” Of course! Got it. On to another humbling track changes comment! 

(And there is no point in scrutinizing this blog post for good writing, or any of them for that matter! This is a critic free venue! Not that I disdain the critics or the edits. I need them. They just sting. A bit. And was over-achieving, I would grab Peace Like a River and take solace in a quote from Swede about writing and critics to share with you...)

Putting Everything

Most men are not satisfied with the permanent output of their lives. Nothing can wholly satisfy the life of Christ within his followers except the adoption of Christ’s purpose toward the world he came to redeem. Fame, pleasure and riches are but husks and ashes in contrast with the boundless and abiding joy of working with God for the fulfillment of his eternal plans. The men who are putting everything into Christ’s undertaking are getting out of life its sweetest and most priceless
rewards.

J. Campbell White Quoted in When the Darkness Does Not Lift.

Still.

'Be still my soul' and Isaiah 40:27-31 are the themes of my heart right now. It feels like I've been carrying a burden of sadness, even amidst much birthday joy and school progress. And most of the sadness comes from thinking I know what is best, and feeling disappointed when it isn't being delivered in my time table! Oh, help me to patiently wait.

Isaiah 40

27 Why do you say, O Jacob,
and speak, O Israel,
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my right is disregarded by my God”?
28 Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
29 He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.....
31 but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength.

Be Still, My Soul

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,
And all is darkened in the vale of tears,
Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,
Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.
Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay
From His own fullness all He takes away.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord.
When disappointment, grief and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past
All safe and blessèd we shall meet at last.

Be still, my soul: begin the song of praise
On earth, believing, to Thy Lord on high;
Acknowledge Him in all thy words and ways,
So shall He view thee with a well pleased eye.
Be still, my soul: the Sun of life divine
Through passing clouds shall but more brightly shine.

A true happiness.

I've been realizing, through my reading, through friend's facebook posts, through conversations- I've drifted from the basics. Maybe due to business, neglect...laziness. But this quote in my email this morning was refreshing.


What else does this craving and this helplessness proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself. -Blaise Pascal


I feel like my needs are manageable, and that I can manage them! Oh, how wrong I am. My needs are never-ending. Now that the semester is finished, I don't feel as happy and content as I thought I would! I am still discontent. Let this dis-contentedness drive me to the Source that can fill me- the only unending and unchanging Source of joy.

Redeemed only by love

I take literally the statement in the Gospel of John that God loves world. I believe that the world was created and approved by love, that it subsists, coheres, and endures by love, and that, insofar as it is redeemable, it can be redeemed only by love. I believe that divine love, incarnate and indwelling in the world, summons the world always toward wholeness, which ultimately is reconciliation and atonement with God.
-Wendell Berry

R.E.S.P.E.C.T

“There is a difference between American and Latvian women.”

Really? “What it is it?” I wondered aloud during my weekly ESL conversation.

“Well,” began my friend, with his Baltic accent, “It is that American women, and even Russian girls who have been here for awhile, seem to disrespect men.”

“Oh.” I nodded my head, with a slightly furrowed brow.

This isn’t everyone, he assured me, but as I thought more about it, I thought to myself “it’s most of them.” And I am a guilty party. I’ve ridden the current feminism for a long time, and it isn’t entirely in vain. Men can abuse and oppress and disrespect women. But it goes both ways, and female disrespect seems to be a more subtle and culturally acceptable behavior- in fact it’s common. Whether it’s an eye-roll, a condescending remark, or blatant criticism, I’ve heard it, and I’ve done it.

This has just got me thinking…and realizing I am imperfect and failing- and need to confess, repent, and accept forgiveness. This also makes me want to have a renewed, redeemed, reclaimed vision of what a man is, and I want to respect it. I want to honor God in all my attitudes and actions, including respecting men. Even respecting men who are not worthy of respect, and doing so not out of manipulation or solvency, but out of obedience. For Christ’s sake.

I long to see more expressions of true manhood, with men fulfilling living out their maleness for God’s glory! (Same for females, too.) But a godly guy- a real leader- kind of makes a girl’s heart melt. It’s kind of the feeling that…this is the way it’s supposed to be.

Suffering

There is in every life a cup of suffering. Jesus Christ referred to His agony in the Garden of Gethsemane and at Calvary as His cup. And had it not overflowed with His life poured out for men, we would have perished.

What a picture of my Master, sharing the wine, the very life blood of His own suffering from His overflowing cup, poured out at Calvary for me. He is there with me in every storm. My Shepherd is alert to every approaching disaster that threatens His people. He had been through the storms of sufferings before. He bore our sorrows and was acquainted with our grief. And now no matter what storms I face, His very life and strength and vitality is poured into mine. It overflows so the cup of my life runs over with His life...often with great blessings and benefit to others who see me and stand up so well in the midst of trials and suffering.

A Shepherd Looks At Psalm 23, by Phillip Keller (p. 123-124.)