Unresolvable

What a job description, the crooning mantra,
"I must save him to save myself."

The false face of God.
The absence of a protector and provider.

The vacuum of orphan-hood.
The bitter angry tap root, 

Core so rotten
hope nullified,

Sad and tormented, the cloudless sky; the waterless mist,
here for awhile before vanishing.

Shaded spectacle, deflated,
procrastinating passivity purloining promises 

Worthless seeds
from a dead tree

All this anger, it's a shell of protection,
coated and fossilized

Never forgotten weights hanging off my eyes,
owed and sour gray skies. 

This is resolving the unresolvable
Some stories don't find redemption until the end.

Someday
I will see it worked for good.

On being human(e)

This inter-generational trauma;
Mother Mary, Father Joseph, you know, all parents do their best with varying degrees of drama.

Help me, Holy Spirit, I surrender.
Show me how to myself be tender.

Regression; like a child, but not my child.
A grown man with tantrums wild.

He was supposed to be the one playing father in family scenes,
but our roles collide and I'm throwing away shitty jeans. 

His addiction, it's pain relief.
I bring down the gavel in judgment and condescending belief. 

He just wants solace.
Even if it comes broken and lawless. 

If he's good,
I can be understood. 

How's that co-depency going?
It's suffocating, she says, sowing 

Thorns of self-contempt, strangling the seed.
How do we go from tormented humanity to being freed?

 

HT: Gabor Mate, in the Realm of Hungry Ghosts.

Plunge

It’s like I’m asking you to breathe underwater with me 

Nevermind our terrestrial boundaries 

While we sink beneath the surface and try to love a new way 

Practice to be

I practice dreams for my poetry 

I practice poetry for my dreams

All the digging has left a dreamless cavern and all the green is a wordless wasteland. The departure into the abundance of beauty silenced my yearning

Until the rain came and 

My fears broke down in

The hardened soul, pummeled by hours of thunder. I softened into the mud as a seed

To be born again, here.

I am not the same seed as when I left.

I am new.

But rootless and unbound I was blown between houses and homes and expectations and money. Who dreams for money? 

Am I a now a soulless Dreamer, bereft of poetry, dying because I’m buying bread. 

This won’t suffice.

Adjust the dream, clip your wings so you can be a safe well fed land bird. And write your poetry from the land.

Spend nothing but love.

Learn new languages to prove God is not for one nation. 

That towers crumble, always.

Poets May forget their dreams and dreamers may loose their poetry 

But remembrance and finding are found in un-bought bread. 

I take and eat. 

Walk

I want to look to all the research-
consulting books, the websites, the best practices

What if you are still, and follow my Spirit? 

You are a better guidebook, a wiser advisor, a present consultant for all that is to come

Remember- make up your mind beforehand, not to prepare what you will say. He will give you what to say in the moment. 

Can I walk by faith, not by sight?

 

A new frontier

 في هذا الصورة، شوق

 تفهم النا

 شرارة؛ راحي

 البديهّ عروفني

In this picture, longing

partial understanding

A spark; relief 

the beginning of being known

Questions and Blessings

If you love women with your free form words
Do you love their curving, inviting mouths and do you love to hear their thoughts? 

I hope you love the feminine with the  strength of your hand 

With you faithfulness 

With your honor, too

With your dove’s eyes 

With your heart’s strength 

—-

To be an ambassador for peace 

To the whole world: that’s your dream. 

Truly, world-wide peace.

I bless you to be one who brings people together 

for understanding

to create peace. 

As you lead the dubkay, I bless you to  lead and unify nations around language, to provide a voice with insight, showcasing the honor and beauty of life, beyond the terrorist cells, the war-torn lands, the earthquaking survivors. 

Oh God, bless this dream.

Bless his speech and his hands and his mind.

.May he know your peace