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Thursday, June 13, 2019

Surrounding

Break the hold of withholding!
Wanting, waiting
wavering 
My heart is before you unfolding 
Confession 
I have an obsession 
of pondering 
wandering 
Until I realize you are surrounding 
Break through to behold me 
Continuously,
Held
Holding fast to the holder 
Meld
Me together 
All my inward parts, surrender


With Jeremy Hallowanger 

Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Soil of praisegiving


Seven floors of slipping away,
Two scarred women.
I sat in my backyard breathing out prayers
Holding onto your heavy words as to
Shelter your shredded heart
Manifold tragedy wounding anew
Not to mention the headlines heralding
Heft so substantial
Pulling me down, to the soil
And I felt the lift of blossoming peonies,
Fragrance carrying
Eyes enamored by the pentifold
Crouched beneath the lush arch of rippling petals
I will wear beauty like a bullet-proof vest
Clothed in Living Fire
Moving beyond the engulfing mire
Into praisegiving rest.

Monday, June 10, 2019

Autotext


My most commonly used phrases,
Recalled by my most intimate extension that powers and placates
Communicates my actions;
It’s like an undercover agent
Impersonating me
Simply a caricature of observation, accurately;

Hey I can call him
and let me talk with him
and then I can try and get him there at night to help him
and bring it back around the time
and I’ll plan on leaving at the church
and then we can

Leave it undone, although all of me
Is bent on closure, completing;
Here I am,
Still waiting
Thumbs twitching,
Heralding.

In standby mode,
Recharging
Apart from me
A part of me
Initiating, moving, and, and
And.

Thursday, May 23, 2019

When I thought I'd lost me

To reconcile me to 
m | e
took the weight of eternity
the Divine entering,
unresting
but yielding.
Now that empty space between
m | e and my | self
is filled with grace
and b e t w e e n 
me
and ETERNITY;
praise. 

Thursday, May 16, 2019

Sons like trees / Psalm 144

Tonight the weighty sky drenched in plum hung, a radiant peach ros’e Drooping low, to tree tops Culminating above a mellow creame row resting in the skyline Like a layered cake, decadent 
Now in bed I revisit the memory of immensity Color fathoms extending The smell of blossoms; apples, cherries, the dusting of white, pink, and maroon petals swept by wind
Northbound Cretin, I thought of another time, While walking to the banquet on campus A five foot, white-haired nun in habit clasped my hand and leaned on me, from street, to elevator, to the hall, our small group making small talk of finding the room and the weather, and she never said a word but I felt The life of Jesus in her grip, the childlike trust, I felt wonder, joyful acceptance I felt I met someone who lived in the moment and was inhabiting a love That was breathing a prayer Even for me
Oh sister, Wherever you are, whoever’s hand you’re holding now, I remember you Incarnating love, a present of presence A joy spilling-over A hope for the unborn to yet praise him for the plum and peach ros’e and blossomed air and spring nights with windows down and hopes high laced with tears that maybe, maybe this will be the year 

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Knowing need

I don’t know, love
Will you walk with me, beside me
While I don’t know?

I’m fraying, flailing
Will you not give me up
Or set me “free”

I don’t want permission
To figure this out on my own
I want, no I need, connection

Your willingness to standby
And not fix me
But reach out, to affirm me

This is just a season of turmoil
The weight of uncertainties
And grief is blinding- numbing- and heavy

Will you
Not step away- but sit beside?
I’m consociation, in consecration

One says: I’m here with you
And this pit of anxiety
We will see it through

I’m here, with you
Right now and for tomorrow too
In this life, me and you.


Tuesday, April 30, 2019

Cupboard

I have nothing in the cupboard
because there is nothing to leave; No crumpled wrapper, no vain compliment, to idle retort, no half-grown thought, no irritating hangnail.
Only a trying-too-hard policy and a shame-induced dollar.

I have nothing to leave in the cupboard
because I left everything; At my work desk, on the train, in the glove compartment, inside the locket, leaning beside the seat.
Only a memory of forgetting, glancing back, unseeing.

I have nothing, not even a cupboard
because it's just rented space; Nothing to own, nothing to maintain, nothing to repair, nothing to explain.
Only a burnt-out and bitter shell, empty and waiting still.