Bespoken

You have spoken 

“best beloved”

My soul’s desire,

My heart, my dove.

My Sequoia 

My deeply rooted one

A wise acre,

Acorn of the Father’s eye.

You are laughter on the waters 

You are riding on the wind 

You are incomparable and spotless

And you are My friend.

Underneath: a rambling

 Solstice still brings me your name,

A subjective conjunction 

A phrase replayed

With routine sophistication and lapsed subtleties.

Undone by a fragile sun 

Summed up by the endsum 

Dawn drawing harder than dogfight, faster than a pull-down.

No lack in this uncased rack 

it’s full price; what a prize 

favored by your laugh and sighs, 

shrugging off the lavish craving 

cold lips speaking لو سمحت

Only to be rescued by the welcome abyss.

Underneath the absence 

The cradled knowing

Synchronous with undoing.

Seasons End

The seasons that drag on,
And then suddenly end.
Later, carrying small regrets like seashells from the beach tucked in my pocket
But in hope, my way set

If I had stayed,
I would have needed a remake on my days,
The former ways
couldn't be sustained

The fit was
off
The mirror no longer reflecting what I want
What I think I need

Leaving security, trusting
Risking rejection, hoping
Disappointments in the wake, accepting
Taking on monotony, learning 

On a new path, no time for carrying burdens or even getting cash.                                                                 The missing weighs heavy.                                            
In this season of waiting
I long for another awakening.

Love Songs

Girl, I'm gonna write you a love song
Spurred on; poetry brimming after months of sinning
And girl, you can live and breathe
and it's okay.
Heart, you are beautiful
and worthy
and true
And I'm glad I'm with you.
In fact, the truth is,
there's no place I'd rather be.
Only you can be you,
and that irrevocable delight
that is rejoiced over, sung over, danced over,
and saved.
Yella! That's the truth.

 

Four and Awakening

Freeze tag
No replays
Keeping truth at bay.

This is a love song, I guess, yes,
Though at first fawn I thought "love bears all things" meant something
Different.

That hook that sends me on flight as a savior into situations
Where I am again a victim
I need to validate this pain and name the stain; 

Release the pattern, the familiar [familial] role play
The fatigue of doning combat fatigues
Of denying my body's dossier.

Owning a trauma response, a conditioning
Noticing and becoming present;
Awakening.

Burnout: but don’t forget the stars

When I start to

Fall apart:

Disintegration

The loss of integrity

Windstrewn

The gradients in and out 

of tune 

Fearfully, fitfully 

It’s not elegant like the movies

Yes it’s more a like 

A swollen red eyed heap of sobs

Every choice a wake

A break a

Stake

A chagrin inside my chest

A shudder

Stunted despair

Will it grow or blow out the flame?

When I feel

the burnout on the inside

a fractured, unintelligible 

Cataract of ashes and 

Dust 

But don’t forget the stars

That flame with a calling and a name

Called out 

Reframed

Those threads that were unraveling

Slowly stop

The shaking subsides

and I drop

Lower, deeper in my chest, decompress 

and find myself again 

More, together 

More like a light

And less like a shadow 

More like breath

And less like the wind 

Only love

When I fail myself,

I forgive myself 

No need to beat her up;

Harass, punish, condemn 

Lashing out.

Only love can retrieve 

What is lost, unspoken 

What has been so utterly broken

Only love can redeem.