the place i'm at with myself / not a physical place
though i physically feel my space
feeling and being
at least in consciousness in this knowing instant
being; been and to be
my peace with who I am, who I’m not
where I’m at, what I’ve wrought
i am more at peace with myself
lighter, righter
that is to say, my relationship with my heart?
am i living from my heart?
am i trusting and believing
am i true to who you made me to be?
am i authentically living out this life, this gift, as You intended?
oh fearsome failure,
repentance saves me, your grip never leaves me
alcohol burns away
and we are left with a fragrant remnant
like vanilla in the cake
indelible
it's the naming,
it's the scaring-
it's the proclaiming
my God you are a person,
in me,
my soul, you are, me?
do i believe?
do i name?
the place, the shape?
nearer, nearer still to you, my Love
though i know not where
i believe.
