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Friday, February 18, 2011

Learning & re-programming

I’m learning right now that there isn’t a right answer for some things. (Particularly related to monitoring and evaluation tasks within project management.) There are better and worse ways, but, generally, not black and white “right or wrong” ways. Really? You mean, I just have to do it? And probably mess up? Because there isn’t a formula, or written procedure? Srsly? Yup.

And I’m being reminded that adults don’t have the answers. I am an adult now, and have been legally for 8 years. But there was still some college age “expectations” I could slide by under. Graduate school has raised the bar—you can’t get away with the same stuff (like not reading your assigned readings) by just wearing the college student label. Now I’m watching my dear friends get married, have children, and have more children. And they are still just like me- they haven’t magically received this adult instruction manual, or better yet, a lightning-bolt-word from God (At least that I know of!)

It’s just so different than I thought things were when I was a kid. I am the first-born, the rule-follower, the over-achiever, the do-it-right booooo-ya girl. And I’m finding that this doesn’t matter that much? That these constructs I’ve lived by are obsolete?

[CTRL+ALT+DEL]=Re-programming.

These two realizations are kind of complimentary paradigm shifts. Tectonic plates are breaking and re-connecting synapses in my brain. Pretty wacky. Pretty wonderful. So I’m sharing my mind-blowing process, as I try to gather up the pieces again. Has your mind been blown by something? Have you had to re-program? I’d love to hear about it.

Monday, February 14, 2011

V. Day

A Valentine
When I said I surrender all
I didn't know what 'all' meant
it meant what I knew then,
not what I know now,
not what I will know.
But it was earnest,
even while being nascent,
and I mean it again, today.
Right now.
I mean to surrender
this heart in love to You, my lover.
Your love crossed me,
Found me,
Your Love calls me,
Washes me,
and will not forsake me.
Past and Present and to come,
You are.
So take this heart in surrender,
in this moment and forever tether,
Sweet Savior, Precious Treasure!
Awed, in Love, wed to my Valentine
Shepherd, friend and King,
ever by my side.
Ever mine.