I’ve got

I've got a furtive heart shyly glancing 

I’ve got lists of words and transliterations and translations, Grammar rules scribbled, later found to be unintelligible 

I’ve got a vacuum of dreams; Something about war that steals the hope for the future, the proximity of good too distant to be laid hold of 

I’ve got a weariness in my bones, cold and scoured by the wind of sighs and water of tears 

I’ve got lifted hands, upraised and emptied, waiting to be filled

I’ve got self control, perseverance and joy, I administer compassion to myself and my enemies 

I’ve got a reward I’m leaning into, a face shining from a recent conversation about glory covering the land as the sky encompasses and holds the whole earth 

I’ve got a song, a new song unfurling like a banner, carried by many who belong to each other and raise their voices in thankful union; body and blood communion; held and holy.

  

Journey of things unfair

If knowing answers to life’s questions is absolutely necessary to you, then forget the journey. You will never make it, for this is a journey of unknowables—of unanswered questions, enigmas, incomprehensibles, and most of all, things unfair. -Madame Jeanne Guyon

It is a wrestle

And ultimate surrender: I am not God 

I do not make and I do not save

I am a needy creature

With longings and bias 

And only the creator knows the end from the beginning, 

and is working it all for good.

To trust in your infinite goodness and wisdom 

To rely on your sovereignty 

To press on in faith 

That is the journey.

To accept the things I cannot change 

And change the things I can

That is the journey. 

To keep hoping and loving 

Because you loved me first 

That is the journey.