New Heritage

I've been copying stanzas from Psalm 119 in my morning Bible Meditation time.

This morning I was struck by verse 111,
"Your testimonies are my heritage forever,
for they are the joy of my heart."

Thinking on the new year upon us, and the joys and sorrows past and to come, this hit a chord.

I love the idea of heritage- my national heritage, my ethnic heritage, and my spiritual heritage. A few years back I was counseled by a family friend about heritage- and how I can have a part in building a new spiritual heritage. It was hopeful to me because I saw him doing THAT for his family! He didn't grow up with that heritage, but that didn't mean he was stuck. He built a new foundation it for his kids.

So it makes me wonder, what will I do in the New Year to build up a godly heritage? I want to create traditions and habits in my life that show others and REMIND ME about God's testimonies. It is also striking that heritage is linked to what is the joy of a person's heart. Will it be money or success or ...., or will it be the joy of the promises and gospel of Jesus Christ?

Oh, Lord, Make this verse more true of me in the New Year!

And make the words of this song true, too! These words are rich.
Enjoy a New Years listening treat :)

Hear O Israel & Come People of the Risen King

Keith & Kristyn Getty & Stuart Townend

Hear O Israel, the people of the Lord,

Be still and know that He is God

Love the Lord your God with the fullness of your heart

With all your mind, your strength and soul

We draw near through Christ who saves us

We draw near to the throne of Grace

Hear O Israel, the people of the Lord

Come lift your voice and praise your King

Come, people of the Risen King,

Who delight to bring Him praise;

COME PEOPLE OF THE RISEN KING,
Who delight to bring Him praise;
Come all and tune your hearts to sing
To the Morning Star of grace.
From the shifting shadows of the earth
We will lift our eyes to Him,
Where steady arms of mercy reach
To gather children in.

Rejoice, Rejoice! Let every tongue rejoice!
One heart, one voice; O Church of Christ, rejoice!

Come, those whose joy is morning sun,
And those weeping through the night;
Come, those who tell of battles won,
And those struggling in the fight.
For His perfect love will never change,
And His mercies never cease,
But follow us through all our days
With the certain hope of peace.

Come, young and old from every land -
Men and women of the faith;
Come, those with full or empty hands -
Find the riches of His grace.
Over all the world, His people sing -
Shore to shore we hear them call
The Truth that cries through every age:
“Our God is all in all”!

December Coverings

Covered by the weight
of frozen molecules of hydrogen and oxygen
billions of them, born above my head
released from storehouses,
freed to flow and fumble
Cover the land, dance
onto our path and fraught feet,
crunching beneath.

Covered by the weight
of heavy heart in desperate state
so much left to do, and what's
left undone stares and
presses harder,
until it seems as if reality
is a memory
and all that's left
is hollow panic and forgetfulness.

Covered by the weight
of unfulfilled desires and cries to wait
patiently, keep steady
fastening your grip
to a Rock that will not slip.

Let go of lust that you sling, like a gun on the hip
Fired off, the bullet wounding
so that crimson spots on white snow cluing
me in on a repetitious act,
oh fond rebellion!
Back again I am.
Stuck. Vile. Far.
Until-
Repentance dovetails and swells
and I'm a heap, in rags undone.

Holiness has raised its' fist,
I'm following the beacon home!
Home to the King with Kingdom Throne
To the Lord of skin and bone
To the Weaver of this tale
To my Maker, never frail.

And though I'm frail and frightened; lost
He split his Blood at highest cost.
Dwelling here all weights seem small;
the burden is easy, the yoke is full.
Abiding here, never to leave!
Beauty, fullness, rest in belief
and faith in nail-pierced hands
that free me from self-imposed tyranny
that free me from the enemy's cruelty
that free me from the world's frivolity.
so that I am

Covered by the weight
of love instead.

Thanks for sharing 'Winter Song' by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson via FB go to a friend of a friend of a friend in Pittsburg :) It is unspeakably beautiful and part of the inspiration for this poem- enjoy.

Where is your Thanksgiving Favorite grown?

My adviser asked our research group what our favorite traditional thanksgiving dishes were. I said mashed potatoes and gravy. Something about that dish is very comforting-- piled high, thick potatoes, whipped to perfection, layered with tasty gravy. It reminds me of family, Auntie Linda and Uncle Brad's house, and other fond memories.

Others loved stuffing (2), squash/sweet potatoes (1), and their mom's wild rice dish (1). Our research group member from Nepal preferred wine :) Another group member proudly explained that everything except the SALT on their table was grown in MN!

Linda Zellmer, Librarian at Western Illinois University, has done research on this exact point. Where is food coming from to get to your table? She has pulled together the birth places of Thanksgiving dinner items.

Looking at the location and concentration of growth are interesting! The darker the color, the more are grown there. If we couldn't ship food by truck, what would you eat in your home state?
What surprised you?

Take a look! Talk about it at your table! And let's be thankful this Thanksgiving!!

Great Conversations

Our God is great. He brings people and relationships into your life during different seasons…with different joys and different challenges.

I’m sharing some notes I took from a conversation with a man who directs a transitional prison ministry. I can’t commend him enough. Sharing a meal with him and his wife was …comparable, in my limited experience…to eating with Jesus. His Love for the Lord, practical experience, and wisdom blew me away. I hope can find some helpful gems in these notes, too, for your relationships.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Boundaries.
Establish boundaries from the get go. Lay out boundaries for each relationship. This is where we are going: tell him* tough things. What desires do you have for the relationship? What expectations do you have for the relationship: what do you want? Be on the same page. It’s important to define the relationship for what it is. Don’t compromise on anything on your end, period. Know where you at. Attitude: this is going to be messy- God help us! God help us to be wise.

Accountability.
You are not doing people any good if you don’t call them out on issues. Be it pride or anything, help and sharpen your brother/sister who calls on the name of Christ! Being held accountable in every where: financially, with work, with relationships… PLOMS Disease: Poor Little Ol’ Me Syndrome. The cure is confronting it!

Discipleship.
If you have any amount of Christian life experience, you are mentoring. Don’t let the “buddy effect” diminish your relationship. Go the word: what does God’s word tell us? This is your backup; this is your foundation in speaking into someone’s life.

Addiction.
Cigarettes: not as much about health as about self-discipline. Think of how a $25 dollar a week habit ends up as a $1200 dollar a year expense.

Dependency.
Getting rides: health, family, job interview. Otherwise: self sufficiency through bussing or biking. It is an issue of self-sufficiency vs. dependence. (He was willing to take 9 buses across town to get dope, nothing would stand in his way. Is it the same now, for church and work and other things?) Don’t give gifts. Individuals can be a crutch. It is easy to give people things. It is not about your giving heart, but about getting things without earning them.

Transition.
Coming out of prison, where you make 300 decisions a day, to life, where we make 3000 decisions a day. It’s a big difference. Structure is really important for this transition process, and those without structure often flounder and go back to prison (recidivism).

Opportunities.
There is the MN Workforce Center (on Chicago and other locations) where you can look for a job for free and get resources. There are also life skills classes, about budgeting. Providing a financial mentor.

Warning.
With a violent background, be careful. Things can happen. Also, no alone time with opposite sexes. Limit time to mixed company, in groups.

Prayer.
Pray for guys in prison! For example, spend one night in prayer for him. Week after week it can be “needs, needs, needs.” And one of the unseen needs is prayer.

Get in the Word.
Take time, right away, to study the Bible. At least 15 minutes of hard-core study. That is going to do more good than chatting for an hour.

*Him here is used generically—it is the him or her you are relating to, they may be transitioning from prison, or they may just be a person with overwhelming needs that you are seeking to support and love.

Lyrical Visions Continued: Too much

The artistic process continues. Click on the title for a Youtube audio, and here for live video.
This song inspired me to think about themes of this work as enforcing repetition, bold lines, mono-chromatic + red color scheme, and a chaotic/over-whelming feel.

I wish I could do this full-time! But apparently if you are a graphic-designer, your work is client driven, and bottom-line limited. I think doing it for fun keeps that magic- but maybe I should take a class to learn more about possibilities I'm not even aware of yet!

Hey Genius, on second thought...

I was reading a University update and found out that a professor had just won the MacArthur genius grant. I watched a video about her. (I had actually done a paper about her work for a writing class, once, and interviewed her lab manager. It was really cool).

So I perused the genius page. Then, wasting my Friday afternoon away (I should be grading tests right now, actually!) I posted the link on facebook, cause I thought it was cool. I wanted to share it with others. Cause then they would think I was cool. Cause I care about geniuses. (And apparently bad grammar, too, but it's my blog, and I can write how I wanna, just cause.)

Anyway. Then, continuing the facebook face melt, I watched a video a friend had posted by a Pastor in Seattle-- this little known dude named Marc Driscoll. And his video was about the gospel, basically how "we don't do things to get right with God. We don't need religion, and works, and good deeds, or GENIUS. What we need is Jesus. Jesus makes us right with God. HE forgives us, HE makes us acceptable, and HE is our hope.")

That made me feel pretty lame caring so much about geniuses. And about what people on facebook think of me. So I thought I'd blog about it. Which is lame, too. However, moving my focus from worshiping at the feet of geniuses and the world of academia (another form of religious works) is something worth sharing. It's worth praising God.

So I thought, rather than erasing my now regretted facebook newsfeed post, that I would repent and share. All glory to him, whenever I stop looking at my own pile, and looking to Him.

What more can you ask for?

Being rather unmarried myself doesn't mean I don't enjoy God's design in marriage, and hope I will enjoy it someday. I just enjoyed a brief article by Justin Taylor about 4 Lessons from Luther on Married Life. Luther was single most of his life, but when it came time to be married, he enjoyed it. How great is that.

"Luther’s faith was simple enough to trust that after a conscientious day’s labor, a Christian father could come home and eat his sausage, drink his beer, play his flute, sing with his children, and make love to his wife—all to the glory of God!" -William Lazareth

Lyrical Visions

The 'Age of Adz' has been on repeat since encountering Sufjan Steven's wonderful performance in Minneapolis last week. I just keep sinking into the world that the songs creates. I wanted express the beauty and power of the lyrics and enjoyed playing around in Adobe InDesign. There are really endless possibilites. In my dream world I would turn these lyrics into a music video featuring only the words. I'm hoping to creatively assemble all of the lyrics for this album as a little fall project. Here is the first song, Futile Devices.

Love is the Consuming Fire that Burns Away Anxiety and Fear

"We must know that we have been created for greater things, not just to be a number in the world, not just to go for diplomas and degrees, this work and that work. We have been created in order to love and to be loved. Love does not measure. It just gives.” Mother Teresa.

And thank you, Kela, for encouragement at the right moment.
Now, to continue.
One day at a time.

Fall Solace among Great Busyness

Now let us find solace in the finished work of our Lord Jesus. Everything is fully done: justice demands no more. Great peace is our portion in Christ Jesus.
- Charles Spurgeon

Musings on Music

Music isn't an end to itself.

Music isn't just a vehicle to get stuff (My flow, my show brought me the dough/that bought me all my fancy things/my crib, my cars, my pools, my jewels...Says 50 Cent)

This quote by Josh Garrels (below) is a quality view of the purpose of music. It reminded me of other artist's reflections on making music (see AC Newman and Alan Sparhawk) because it was honest and true. Garrel's thoughts also capture my view of music. It's hard to put into words, the mystical way that a melody refreshes, how words give joy and perspective, and rejuvenating it is dancing to the beats... and that is because God made it to be so. He made music for worship-- the glorious end of all things! So get tickets to a show...and praise him.

“In a media-saturated pop culture society where ‘stars’ are the royalty to be worshipped or fawned over, I believe the true role of artists is to serve others with their creations, “ Garrels says. “That means to draw people to fullness of life through revelation, longing, breakthroughs, simple beauty, and unpretentious truths. Artists help people see the obvious, the heart of the matter, and from this regained perspective people become more fully human. So much art these days has people focusing on an unattainable fantasy, lusting over what they'll never have unless they take it by force or by way of money or libido. This is all candy, and candy can't make a man healthy.” Read more: http://www.myspace.com/joshgarrels#ixzz0yJR0KKlm (bold and italics mine)

So long, fare thee well

Goodbye is too good a word, babe.
I'll just say, so long,
fare thee well.

This morning three motorcycles rode out of the alley.
It was the official end of a sweet season living with two wonderful girls.
They are now headed toward opposite ends of the country; west coast, east coast.
And here I am, stuck in the middle with you.

I feel the bittersweet joy and sadness,
the hope of visiting both of them in the future, and a little bit of consideration toward the boxes and things left to pack. But overall, I want to be THANKFUL.
Thankful to the Giver of good gifts.
Thankful that He gave us this time, apartment, friends and sweet memories...
and hopeful for what is to come!

The saga continues

Upon arriving home from a night at the theater (yes, dahling, we had a nice time but were slightly traumatized by Tennessee's tragedy & on stage bottle breaking in 'A Streetcar Named Desire') I was greeted by a guest! Hello, housemate, so good to meet you! Mousey #4 (yes, #4, because #3 met the clap trap this evening, whoo hoo!) introduced them self tonight, and is currently under the stove. Two traps have been strategically placed in an effort to beneficently boot out this guest...and more will be purchased tomorrow.

Questions: How many more should I buy? What bait works well? I'm doing peanut butter now, but might go back to glued down peanuts...or maybe cheese? I should have kept some of that salmon! And why don't the Decon traps work?

Travelin'

After lamenting with with Kela about the length of plane rides and the limitations of short vacations, we recalled to mind the wonders of teleporting and time travel. And why, exactly, has this not happened yet? Resolved to write a letter to the top three companies we think could make this happen- please get on it, guys!

1. Google (They can do everything, right?)

2. Apple (As long as you get the chip placed in your wrist, that is...)

3. Ikea (Swedish ingeniuity with style)

Guests

After a week of work travels, I returned home. Glorious home. I was breaking out in a full smile walking through the MSP airport. My current apartment is now empty- both roommates gone- so I returned to an experiment of living alone.

Or so I thought.

Soon I had a sneaking suspicion that I was not alone.

It was a vague movement out of the corner of my eye. Slight sounds filtering through the air.

Sure enough, yesterday morning Mr. Mousey was poppin' his head out to say hello. Brave and unafraid of daylight, he hid behind the stove and would race out when I had been quiet for awhile. I resolved to buy some more clap traps. Cruel, yes, but effective. I want to live ALONE, you see, not with a guest.

Yesterday Kelly came over for dinner. I showed her my 2-sticky trap, 2-clap trap set-up, and she approved. I was set for my mission of destruction.

As we munched on homemade kettle corn, she noticed movement- a brown blurb shimmying up the shelf. Suddenly the mouse was on the counter, then leaping in the bread basket. The bread basket! Not the bread basket! We went over, unsure what to do. I was freaking out, cussing and cursing at the mouse. Kelly was calm. I ran down the back stairs- we could carry the basket out side and release it! I opened the door, and on my way back up, she said "It is finished!" the mouse had invisibly escaped the bread basket and ended up in a trap. Wowza!

After a short struggle, Mr. Mousey was bagged and disposed of. It felt good!
We cleaned out that bread basket- he had been thriving on some salmon jerky! Two sticks were nibbled on. I guess I would eat salmon over moldy bread, too. (I just returned from a week way, to remind you. Moldy bread is not normal. Moldy cheese on the other hand, but I digress). After that accomplishment, I still decided to leave the other traps out just to be sure. But was really looking forward to the living alone experiment.

Except, I still wasn't alone.

Last night I heard a quiet chirping, like a mouse, but couldn't locate it. I went to bed. This morning, sticky trap #1 by the stove had accomplished its mission. Mrs. Mousey was caught by her back legs and wailing. I felt terrible. I freaked out a little less. I sang "Jesus lover of my soul" and got the Mrs. in a ziploc. (She went outside, too, though for now she is waiting to meet the tire of my car. I don't want her to struggle for days. Maybe the sticky traps are even crueler, as they prolong the end.) When I felt really mean, I called my mom, and she reminded me that mice don't have a right to live with me. I do have the right to live alone.

As I climbed back up the stairs, I felt sad but strong and ready to persevere on my mice killing mission. At the top of the stair I was met by yet another furry beast, this one scrambling into a hole in the wall! A tally of three mice, and counting! HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE? I quickly found the steel wool that had been purchased for this occasion, and stuffed the crack. I went to the other side (ahem, the kitchen side, where I live!) and tried to stuff that space, too.

I shake my head as I think of the millions of mice babies currently inhabiting my house, just waiting for me to leave. I found another clap trap, so hopefully Sticky #1 and Clappy #3 will do their work in the back hall. Clap #2 and Decon are inside waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Like me.

Waiting to be free of unwanted guests.

Until next time, loyal reader, I wish you a pest-free week.

Bluegrass makes me thankful

Something about the fiddle. The mandolin. Bill Monroe's high pitched yoddle. The real talk of sorrow, loneliness, despair, tragedy, and evil. But there is a chord of thankfulness that runs through the lines. I hear gratitude in the plucks and harmonies.

I've been reading about grumbling in Exodus, and have been thinking about how grumbling is based on unbelief! God's people didn't believe he could provide-- they would rather be back as slaves in Egypt than to die from Pharaoh's armies, then to die of thirst, then to die of hunger because they didn't see how God was testing them to trust him. I can't see right now how I'm being tested, but I want to be trusting in God's provision and protection, and not relying on what I see I lack in my wilderness. Listening to bluegrass helps me to look away from the present, and fix my eyes on the unseen. It fills my heart with gratitude for him, rather than grumbling for what I lack.

My life has been consumed with a big project at work. It's challenging. Tedious. But I'm trying to make gratitude part of my days and hours, rather than grumbling. Play on, Bill!

In the morning when I rise

This morning, I am reading the Bible because
(a) I want to feel good about myself
(b) I want to check it off my list
(c) because if I don't I will feel guilty and shameful and "disconnected" from God
(d) I know my soul needs it
(e) because I always do it
(f) I want to be able to share I did if anyone asks
(g) Maybe I'll read something that I can share with coworkers
(h) Maybe I'll read something I can meditate on through the day

Are these the reasons I should be reading the Bible? (Because, you know, I should be reading it!)

After discussing church and life with friends/duplex mates last night, I was reminded that I should read the Bible to get close to God. That's the main purpose: I should read it be drawn toward Jesus, to get more of Jesus, and to enjoy Jesus more. Knowing Christ, not just knowing about him, should be my prerogative when I crack open 'da book' in the morning. €
Or lunch time.
Or whenever time.

Oh Lord, make it so!

Solar Bulbs Light up My Life

Sweet new way to light up your night...I wonder if I can get one for camping?

----------------------------------------

An inventor has designed an affordable solar-power light bulb that can shine for four hours and last four years to help wean people off the kerosene lamps commonly used in poorer nations.

Denver-based inventor Stephen Katsaros has a long history of useful inventions that have found shelf life, and the solar bulb -- named Noreka -- is the latest. He plans to mass-produce 600,000 to 1.2 million bulbs a month in a factory in China, and they will retail wholesale for $6. The retail cost can reach $15.

The bulbs contain four solar panels as well as a computer chip to prolong battery life. Nearly 1.6 billion people worldwide do not have electricity, and a quarter of the world still burns fuel in lamps for light. Emissions can reach up to 1.9 million tons of carbon dioxide a day, according to a report from the U.N. Framework Convention on Climate Change.

Katsaros is planning to sell his bulbs, he says, and will seek to make a profit in countries that can afford the bulbs, such as India, Pakistan, Indonesia and Nigeria. The business model needs to be able to grow and sustain itself.

"This is not a charity," he says. "We are using capitalism as a method to improve people's lives" (Jason Blevins, Denver Post, July 10). --GV

Farm to School goes national

Benefits abound when eating local food, especially in growing children. Eating nutritious fruits and vegetables, learning at a young age where carrots come from, and meeting your neighbor who grows them could have a large impact on child development. It's about telling the story of the food we eat, something that kids and adults alike can enjoy!

Although there are infrastructure challenges, currently sixty-nine school districts in Minnesota have programs. The model is being replicated nationwide in this bill "Recently national bipartisan legislation was released National Farm to School Act of 2010 (H.R. 5456)"

"St. Paul Public Schools alone purchased 110,000 pounds of locally grown produce in just the first six weeks of the 2009-2010 school year – the markets created by school districts can be a big boost to small family farmers. Minnesota students are now eating locally-grown apples and corn on the cob. Other programs also serve potatoes, carrots, onions, cabbage, broccoli, cauliflower, bison, and beans." -Maria Reppas

Sounds like a yummy deal to me!

I'm singing today...

When I go don't cry for me
In my fathers arms I'll be
The wounds this world left on my soul
Will all be healed and I'll be whole

Sun and moon will be replaced
With the light of Jesus' face
And I will not be ashamed
For my savior knows my name

It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

Gold and silver blind the eye
Temporary riches lie
Come and eat from heaven's store
Come and drink and thirst no more

So weep not for me my friend
When my time below does end
For my life belongs to him
Who will raise the dead again

It don't matter where you bury me
I'll be home and I'll be free
It don't matter where I lay
All my tears be washed away

How do you destroy community wealth? Look at our current system

How can we develop stronger and healthier communities?

A recent article by Olga Bonfiglio (The Economics of Organic Farming) reminded me that I had heard a lecture on this at the MOSES conference this past February.

I heard Ken Meter speak about how local and organic food can be a way of developing communities. Here are on some excerpts from Bonfiglio’s article, where she quotes Mr. Meter:

• "Our [struggling] economy is making a compelling case that we shift toward more local food. The current system fails on all counts and it's very efficient at taking wealth out of our communities."

• "This is not a healthy farm economy especially since $135 million in food is purchased outside the region," said Meter. "We need to cut down that $135 million by sourcing food locally."

• "This is a startling reality the general public is not thinking about because it is so far removed from farms," said Meter. "These are losses in the breadbasket of America! This is not a lucrative way to farm."

• Meter believes that if buyers commit themselves to invest in organic and locally-grown agricultural products, farm income would change. However, people would have to understand how such a strategy would benefit them and their community at the same time. It would require a sense of community or ownership over a place where people were unified on the basis of trust, mutuality, and support and not just a shared geography.

• For example, if people in southwestern Wisconsin bought just 25 percent of their food from local sources, all production costs would be offset and create $33 million in new farm income.

• "It is not a trivial thing to source food through local people," said Meter. "That helps fund communities and their schools."

• Meter cited several examples where farmers have been able to invest in local and organic production AND make a difference in their communities.

Examples:
Organic Valley, WI
Black Hawk, IA
Growing Power, Milwaukee, WI
Viroqua, WI
In Eau Claire, WI
Burlington, VT
Northfield, MN

Such arrangements break down self-interest motives to help move everyone in the community forward, said Meter. "The food systems of the future will also involve rethinking our habits of getting our food cheaply," concluded Meter. "Such change can build wealth in our communities." Mr. Meter works at Crossroads Resource Center in Minneapolis.

Twenty crushing thoughts

This is pretty personal, but it may be helpful to share. Or it may just be insight into my sinful psychosis! Ahhh well. I’m just hanging out, praying through a new crush, in this ridunkulous cycle that plagues me! I wish I didn’t have to deal with this, I say. Well, let’s fess up that this is an area I really struggle with, and especially need his sufficient grace. “Trust in the lord all ye saints, trust in the lord! Those who fear him have no lack….” Psam 34
1. Don’t worry about x’s long term goals, God is in charge of that
2. Don’t worry about winning x’s affection. If the Lord stirs his heart, the Lord will do that
3. Yes, this might be a good match, but you don’t know anything! The Lord knows!
4. Yes, you like being around him, but that doesn’t mean you are meant to marry him!
5. I pray that you would take him off my heart, or put me on his
6. I pray that I would not become a conniving jealous scheming woman around him, but relax and rest in you Lord and be myself!
7. I pray you would take away my distracting “scenario/fake conversation” thoughts or help me fight them
8. I pray you would replace those thoughts with thoughts of loving Jesus and serving other people
9. What can stop the Lord from doing this-- nothing?
10. I will wait upon the Lord
11. I will trust the Lord
12. I will cry out to my God
13. I will praise my God
14. I will not worry or fret
15. The Lord pursues me
16. The Lord’s affections are for me
17. The Lord is good
18. The Lord is always good
19. His mercies endure forever
20. I do pray for x, and that you would be with him and strengthen him- he would feel your love and passion and abide in you

Positing

Literature review is golden.
Now I've got a new verb in my soul.
It'll sound pretty good once I get it a go.
It can be a noun too- we'll just see how it rolls.

pos·it
verb
1. to place, put, or set.
2. to lay down or assume as a fact or principle; postulate.

noun
3. something that is posited; an assumption; postulate.

Found in:
Meeting need and achieving sustainability in water project interventions. Huby, M., Stevenson, S. Progress in Development Studies, Jul2003, Vol. 3 Issue 3, p196-209.

"Baland and Platteau (1996) posit the advantages of federated structures for the
management of common property such as water, with nested multiple layers of rights
and responsibilities."

Interconnected

"When one tugs at a single thing in nature; he finds it attached to the rest of the world."
John Muir

For me, today was a day to remember that the earth is "neither a toilet nor your mother". How we treat the earth matters. We should not abuse it, and we should not worship it. It doesn't belong to humans, but it also isn't greater than humans.
Muir's insights into the complexity of nature, the challenges of research and understanding...and all of this complexity reflects the majesty of the earth's Creator.

The Scientific Method Insulates My Heart

A Method that fictionally releases my mind from subjectivity
I approach with a graphing paper notebook and pen
And evaluate.
The method seems to simplify the luster of ten thousand decisions.
The method seems to free me from criticism and fragmented affections.
Stead-eyed I plot the line.
And while the facts never speak for themselves,
The method helps them to.
And that’s the way we like it.
- - -

I was just considering how I approached my new twitter endeavor like an experiment. Putting it in the confines of research made it more manageable to me.
Does that reflect my personality, or my Grad school re-programing?
Maybe I'm thinking a little too hard ;).

But this feeling "insulation" or superiority that is attached to the label of scientist is worrisome. I just read an article about climategate by John P. Costella (linked in the title) which delves into the details of scientists abusing their power for their own ends.

This reality makes me sad. Scientists are certainly not free from bias or corruption. Could transparency and high-quality science win back the public's trust, or is it lost forever? I still think minimizing subjectivity by using a standardized method is a worthy endeavor. It's the path I'm on now...we'll see how it goes...

A leap of Twit

I don't want to be afraid of technology.
Therefore, I will tweet.
New challenge: tweet once a week (shoot for manic Mondays)
and see what I learn...
maybe I'll love it, maybe I'll hate it,
but hopefully I'll start to understand it!

Oi, Grad School

A wise friend told me what what she learned from grad school:

1. always put off what you can do today until tomorrow
2. if you can't do it today, then eat a lot of chocolate and eventually it will get done. somehow.

I'm finding this to be true... I'm kind of scared by it, also! Maybe I should just embrace procrastination as a way of life, and enjoy this time, rather than stressing?

If Heaven is Whenever...

(Freecovers.org)

I don't want it.

The Hold Steady's new album, to be released May 4th, is entitled 'Heaven Is Whenever'. Thinking about that title, if heaven is whenever, it is right in this moment, it is in the past (like the Holocaust), it is in death and suffering and injustice.

However, I don't think heaven IS in those things because I don't think heaven is not just a synonym for happiness. I can't hope in a heaven if it looks just like the messed up earth now. I don't want to hope in a God that can't set things right.

I believe heaven is beyond a feeling, it is a place. It is a real place. It is a city. It is a city of the future, a city to come. It is a lasting city, an eternal city. It is a place without tears and sadness. It is a place of feasting. It is a place of complete and FULL JOY, because it is the place where Jesus is and always will be, with his people. It is a place where there is no sun, because the Son shines his light on the people!

Heaven is a reality, not a nonchalant phrase. Happiness is a passing feeling, dependent on circumstance. Not the same thing.

When Finn talks about the album, I get more excited. He says the album is about "embracing suffering and understanding its place in a joyful life. The lyrics speak a lot about struggle and reward."

I totally dig that. But the reward is to come. Suffering is here and now, but it won't exist forever. And that is a reality to look forward to.

blog blah

Most of my thoughts
Pride stymied and then toppling to despair
Back again, back again
Even the ‘my’ is despicable
Should I care about my thoughts; yes
Should I share every thought for everyone’s gaze?
Just because we can do that now
You don’t even need a journalism degree
You are editor and publisher; power
Or waste of time?
Self-expression is self-promotion
In this case,
Pride gawking at the mirror.
I want to smash it.
I don’t want to live in blog world.
But sometimes… I want a break from the real world.
From assignments, readings, confusing interview coding…
So I read people’s blogs and think my own thoughts into blog posts.
And shake my head.
And do it again.

Women, Water, Wonder

Every year, March 8th marks International Women's Day. This weekend has been full of celebrations connected to this day, including a an event called Women and Water Rights.

I attended the symposium (Woman & Water Rights: Global Policy - Local Action) on Thursday and caught two speakers highlighting different narratives within the topic. I've been ruminating on one of the questions asked and the speaker's response.

The question was along the lines of "What is the connection between me and other women around the world, who lead very different lives, and in particular their lives involve so much labor just to obtain water (maybe not even clean) for their families, and we just turn a knob."

For one, you really have to let this question sink into your pores. I wasn't knocked out by it; the experience has been more along the lines of a clamp that gets tighter every round you wind.

The compression has reached a peak; I'm weighed down. Not with guilt, but with a mixture of sorrow and lamenting. Sorrow for their suffering, sorrow for the ease and convenience of my life, and lamenting for the injustice and corruption and the "not rightness" of the world.

I'm weighed down by the beautiful poem that was shared in a response to this thought. The speaker didn't have an answer. She, too, had looked at this question and did not pull out an silver-bullet-development solution. Her poem was full of imagery and carried the same grief.

Maybe it's a grief common to women; even unmarried childless women can share it. I feel like I share in it, as I imagine a Kenyan woman walking 2 miles to gather water and firewood for her family. The grief has a particle of distrust. A particle of anger. A particle of helplessness. A particle of joy. A particle of apathy. A particle of perseverance.

The topic and poem affected me in another way, as I have been working over the weekend taking surveys at a boat show. The survey is for a joint university/state/federal project about public knowledge of invasive species in water as well as boater's habits. There are 7 questions and a blue "shammy" as a thank you. (Repeat xxx times with a smile, and don't take rejection personally).

There are many notable aspects of this new survey experience, but I'll focus on the connection to the topic. Here I am, asking people about their habits and knowledge about water. I'm asking men and women who enjoy water for recreational purposes, and water may also be a big factor in how they make their living. Many of them do not realize the magnitude of the threat of invasive species, and the likelihood that the resources they treasure may degrade from invasive species impact. Yet many people are very responsive and concerned.

Still, water in our lives is at a different than my imaginary friend across the ocean. Water separates us from each other; and yet it is water that unites us all.

I'll conclude this thought with music, another reality that unites us:

"It's the terror of knowing
what this world is about...
watching some good friends scream let me out...
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets....
Insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
Can't we give ourselves one more chance
Why can't we give love that one more chance
Why can't we give love
Give love give love give love give love
Give love give love give love
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves "
-Under Pressure by Queen

Cry out

She went
and she returned.

She has
cried out
in the night
She has
poured out
her heart
before
the One who sees.

We sat circled
and heard
the story
of another
who cried out
mouthed prayers
was called drunk
and yet did not turn over to despair
And when He came
and answered her prayer--
she gave
to the One who sees.

The One who sees
is who we can go to
when we grieve
when there is nothing to do
but pour out our hearts like water
in his presence.

May Christ's death and resurrection life be such a consolation in Haiti,
but also right here and now.

Because it is his

"Making music is one of the most spiritual things in the world. This is God's language, man, and you don't touch that shit without feeling something bigger than yourselves. If you don't come to terms with that and call it what it is, you're going to have a long fight." -Alan Sparhawk in Vita.mn article by Chris Riemenschneider

Thanks, Alan, for aritculating one of the reasons music is so amazing. Because it is God's language! Music is a big part of my enjoyment of life and my identity... it's so important to me, it brings so much joy. However I think I'm often quite shallow in how I think about it. I want to think more deeply about music, Sparhawk's quote captures some of the Source of the magic and power of music.

When Cobwebs build up...

Lord, sweep aside our false conceptions of You and replace them with true thoughts of who You are. A.W. Tozer

cycle, re

My Arc Value Village e-newsletter included information on recycling: how holistic! I love how their mission benefits people with developmental disabilities by making a market for used goods. Their organizational structure promotes conservation, and now is even promoting more environmental stewardship! The only weak link in this reduce/reuse/recycle chain is that they inherently do not promote "reducing."

I'm pasting in their "Green Corner" which includes items I was not aware of. Enjoy!

GREEN CORNER - Here is a list of items that you can recycle that you might not have heard about:

Styrofoam (large pieces from crates, cartons, furniture, appliances etc.). Must be clean and dry and in bags. Take to the Coon Rapids recycling center but check out the details first on the website to make sure you comply with their requirements. Offer to collect for neighbors too. You don't need to be a resident of Coon Rapids to participate.
Plastic bottle caps. All those plastic bottles have caps (which should NOT go along with the bottles in the recycling bin) which can be saved and taken to your nearest Aveda salon. Aveda will recycle them into bottles for their products.
Mattresses. You can recycle your mattress and/or box spring for $15 each. Don't let this huge item end up in the land fill. The recycler will dismantle it and sell 85% of remaining materials.
Plastics. Recycle #1 and #2 with necks in your regular recycling. Whole Foods will take #5's. Coon Rapids recycling center will take #4, #5 and #6 plastic containers. Just look on the bottom of your plastic container for the number within the recycle triangle.
Packing Peanuts/ Bubble Wrap - Bring to your neighborhood Arc's Value Village Thrift Store and we will reuse. The other option is to check with your nearest UPS store (call first) to see if they won't take your packing peanuts. You can also request a biodegradable packing peanut when you ship. The more that people ask for it, the more likely a merchant is to provide it to you.

Money down

Oh, New Year's resolutions-- to try and fail, or not to try at all? Well, I might just have accomplished my 2009 new year's resolution (one year late!) by creating a budget on Mint.com. Thanks to some recommendations from family and friends, it has turned out to be such an efficient, easy-to-use way of visually tracking income, out-going, and budget categories. Sure beats saving receipts and an excel spreadsheet, which was my 2009 failed attempt.

Cheers to a new year of financial stewardship!

Find a Solace

Logically i knew
part of me needed to sit for awhile
and break.

be still, wonder
what's going through the synapses and neurons
was it all in my mind?

hands up, admit
you can't take a step
or stop the blood from thrusting.

so I'll un-close, my hands to grace
kneel down to the ground face
and accept the buckling.

by K.Kabob and C.Linguine by phone conversation, 2010.

----------------------

What a Friend we have
in Jesus
all our sins and griefs to bear
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer
O what peace we often forfeit
O what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer

Have we trials and temptations
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do your friends despise, forsake you?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield you;
you will find a solace there.

Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
Thou wilt all our burdens bear
May we ever, Lord, be bringing
all to Thee in earnest prayer.
Soon in glory bright unclouded
there will be no need for prayer
Rapture, praise and endless worship
will be our sweet portion there.

by Joseph Scriven, 1855.