settling down with this mind

fame, fame,
chasing an empty frame
stirring up
a desperate perusal of pages for meaning

continual searching for the next thing;
i signed an acceptance letter today,
i fulfilled a dream.
And, yet, I'm still looking?

and a whispering thought
"what with the incarnation and all"

[pause]

how can...i...
say i believe
then set my worth; identity
on a program
on a dead tree; degree

candle burning and it's out.
to be blunt; that is my life.
be still now, settle down.
trust in God
the God who came
not in means.

Land Ahoy, submitted!

The long journey has culminated in clicking the "submit" button last night on my first (and hopefully only!) graduate school application to the Natural Resources Science and Management Program at the U of M. Hurray! I thought this quote was applicable-- it encouraged me very much along the way....

“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.”
—Fitzhugh Dodson

The journey is incredibly important, yet it stagnates if a goal (or even a direction) is not identified. It's definitely not easy. But it takes small steps a day at a time, combined with big dreams and loads of faith.

Dance, dance, dance

"Why do girls love dancing?"
-Andy

Dear Andy,
This is a thoughtful question that one can't answer standing still!
I've been thinking about it since we were a two-steppin' last Saturday.
Why do I love dancing?
There's something about a beat, especially when combined with chords of a banjo,
mandolin, or guitar that makes me want to move.
My hips want to sway, my arms ache to swing, my head needs to bob!
I just want to .... release? let go? express? be a fool? be seen?

When I was young, I was so fearful about dancing in front of people.
Well, actually, when I was really young I was in dance class through community education in my city. Tap, ballet, and jazz, oh, and lyrical! It was a blast. But entering middle school, there was no rhythm in me to sway to R&B at the dance. And I actually still lack a lot of sense to certain types of music-- even now I get stiff or awkward. But other types just instigate a groove I can't deny!
Click on the "dance, dance, dance" title (from a Steve Miller Song which supports this letter) for an excellent example of sweet-bluegrass-need-to-danceness.

How to live an unhappy life

It is the most Christ-like and happy life for a believer to cease living for himself. He who blesses others cannot fail to be blessed himself. On the other hand, to seek our own personal greatness is a wicked and unhappy way of life. -Charles Spurgeon

I too often walk with a mind set on the flesh and seek my own good and esteem from others. It ends in emptiness. I am thankful this Thanksgiving season that the Promises in Jesus are greater and more full of hope.

Connecting teaching and research to communities

"I like the land-grant mission—good teaching, good research, and connecting those two activities through work with the community. Every time we can accomplish something in that broader context, we've done well." Tom Scott, former director of CURA (Center for Urban and Regional Affairs.

Scott's quote struck me. The university system, weighted down by offices, departments, initiatives, centers, and programs; layers which cause transparency to become opaque. What is the University doing? Where is the money going? What benefit does the public receive? It is refreshing to have someone within (or formerly within) the univeristy asking those questions, and I think CURA does that well. To be loyal and critical at the same time-- to respectfully question-- what a role, what a challenge! I'm hopeful that others will continue in his post as advocates and practitioners of the land grant mission.

Almost-Monday-Reminder

Giving thanks.

Thanks for roommates and friends and gut-spilling and older wise women and phone calls and honesty and moms and laundry and popcorn and brothers and sisters-in-law and beer and sufjan and blogs and grad program possibilities and internet and conflict and found keys and hope in the hope-giver.

"So in our darkest times he came, He who is the Light of the morning came to us. He is faithful that promised. We say, then, to anyone who is under trial, give Him time to steep the soul in His eternal truth. Give Him time and, as surely as dawn follows night, there will break upon the heart a sense of certainty that cannot be shaken."

-Amy Carmichael writes to my soul. Prescription: read this three times a day until tests and applications are done. And continue to GIVE THANKS.

Food security and climate change

A changing climate brings world wide challenges. As glaciers shrink, global water levels will change, which causes crucial rivers to dry up, which directly impacts agriculture. Lester Brown, author of an updated "Plan B 4.0: Mobilizing to Save Civilization," expounds on this point and clearly exposes the link between global warming and food security. This link is jaw dropping, and needs to be studied further! In this interview, Lester sounds like a prophet with dire warnings for the world, and without many solutions.

If these warnings are taken seriously, it's obvious why scientists are freaking out. I would be too, but my faith whispers "Christine, the earth is His and the fullness thereof. God is the author of civilization, and he alone can save it. Man has gotten us into this mess, and man cannot get it out of it! But dependent on God, and repentant of our sinful ways, seek Him earnestly in this crisis! Without him, there certainly is no Plan B, C, or D...."