I stumbled upon an ironical article on Relevant (9 Quick Ways to Get Depressed). Quite amusing, I chuckled. Until I got to number 6.
"Become a Cynic: Start to believe the following things: people don’t change, life
generally sucks and avoiding pain is more important than risking love." -Nicole Uncie
Wait, that sounds a little close to home.
That sounds a little...like me.
I never would have put myself in this category. I'm a sanguine optimist! I have a rosy-colored view of the past. I forgive and forget. I have hope in God. Until now, I guess. I look around...
People I love are sick. And suffering.
People I know are dying. In hospice. Suffering.
People I respected and cared for are gone. Eternally. Suffering.
It's external, and it's internal.
I am broken. I am hurtful to others: impatient and stubborn and harsh. I think the worst. I judge. I compare. The list goes on.
And it does, really, suck. And it's not okay. And I can't fix it.
But I can cry out tonight. Lord, do what only You can do.
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I don't want to ride on somebody else's passion
I don't want to find that I am just dry bones
I want to burn with unquenchable fire
deep down inside, see it coming alive
Help me find my own flame
Help me find my own fire
I want the real thing
I want Your burning Desire
In my heart tonight, do what only you can do
In my heart tonight, do what only you can do
Why wait for tomorrow, when I can have you today?
When I can have the change....
Change me by Your beauty God
Change me by Your beauty God
Help me find my own flame.
