Never, never.

What sin, that lurks in each of us,
far grosser,
far deeper,
far more perverse.
So long, to keep hidden,
To keep hidden,
In darkness.

Even those who are forgiven,
temptation bitten
struggling, strangling,
the cords of lust.

I can't bear this weight
I can't calm the gate
The flood of the reprobates
And Their vile complaints
Now that the light has shown,
revealed the hidden state,
Oh will you still me forsake?

Never, never.
Tied to an unbreakable tether.
To a Wretch as I,
An amazing grace did fly,
Toward the neediest,
dirtiest child,
to me, to me.

Abba, such destruction and heartbreak we bring on ourselves and others. Please draw near to his family now, in unspeakable shame and sorrow, and comfort them with your peace.

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.

From Lost to Love

Oh for,

The love,

The love of, oh for

Oh for, the love of

The love of God

The love of God

The love of God.

I fail, I fall, crippled heart, beats too small

Not large enough, to carry this

Grief and burden,

Father, brother,

Entire city

Lost.

Cycles of

Worship, yes, hope in being washed by holy rivers, in ascending mountains, in ringing gongs, in visiting shrines,

all for a good work, to keep the law ardently.

Yet I see nothing but that

I am a good law-breaker

I am a terrible seeker,

A Truth wrecker

Critic and side-stepper.

Fresh and salt-water, flowing out of this mouth.

White-washed tomb, hypocrite who spouts.

Oh, forgive,

Oh forgive,

Me.

I turn, repent, only to do it again. I turn, repent, and repent again.

And there is forgiveness. And there is hope.

At greatest price, Jesus Christ made a way.

Blood money- He paid.

My debt, he paid.

Thank you.

Life and all, I owe, joyfully, and lovingly.

It is well, with my soul.

Conscience cleared,

burden borne,

debt paid, stains washed.

It is well!

[Inspired by seeing my own faults, seeking hope and forgiveness, and the Vimeo linked to the blog's title. Highly recommended.]

New Heritage

I've been copying stanzas from Psalm 119 in my morning Bible Meditation time.

This morning I was struck by verse 111,
"Your testimonies are my heritage forever,
for they are the joy of my heart."

Thinking on the new year upon us, and the joys and sorrows past and to come, this hit a chord.

I love the idea of heritage- my national heritage, my ethnic heritage, and my spiritual heritage. A few years back I was counseled by a family friend about heritage- and how I can have a part in building a new spiritual heritage. It was hopeful to me because I saw him doing THAT for his family! He didn't grow up with that heritage, but that didn't mean he was stuck. He built a new foundation it for his kids.

So it makes me wonder, what will I do in the New Year to build up a godly heritage? I want to create traditions and habits in my life that show others and REMIND ME about God's testimonies. It is also striking that heritage is linked to what is the joy of a person's heart. Will it be money or success or ...., or will it be the joy of the promises and gospel of Jesus Christ?

Oh, Lord, Make this verse more true of me in the New Year!

And make the words of this song true, too! These words are rich.
Enjoy a New Years listening treat :)

Hear O Israel & Come People of the Risen King

Keith & Kristyn Getty & Stuart Townend

Hear O Israel, the people of the Lord,

Be still and know that He is God

Love the Lord your God with the fullness of your heart

With all your mind, your strength and soul

We draw near through Christ who saves us

We draw near to the throne of Grace

Hear O Israel, the people of the Lord

Come lift your voice and praise your King

Come, people of the Risen King,

Who delight to bring Him praise;

COME PEOPLE OF THE RISEN KING,
Who delight to bring Him praise;
Come all and tune your hearts to sing
To the Morning Star of grace.
From the shifting shadows of the earth
We will lift our eyes to Him,
Where steady arms of mercy reach
To gather children in.

Rejoice, Rejoice! Let every tongue rejoice!
One heart, one voice; O Church of Christ, rejoice!

Come, those whose joy is morning sun,
And those weeping through the night;
Come, those who tell of battles won,
And those struggling in the fight.
For His perfect love will never change,
And His mercies never cease,
But follow us through all our days
With the certain hope of peace.

Come, young and old from every land -
Men and women of the faith;
Come, those with full or empty hands -
Find the riches of His grace.
Over all the world, His people sing -
Shore to shore we hear them call
The Truth that cries through every age:
“Our God is all in all”!

December Coverings

Covered by the weight
of frozen molecules of hydrogen and oxygen
billions of them, born above my head
released from storehouses,
freed to flow and fumble
Cover the land, dance
onto our path and fraught feet,
crunching beneath.

Covered by the weight
of heavy heart in desperate state
so much left to do, and what's
left undone stares and
presses harder,
until it seems as if reality
is a memory
and all that's left
is hollow panic and forgetfulness.

Covered by the weight
of unfulfilled desires and cries to wait
patiently, keep steady
fastening your grip
to a Rock that will not slip.

Let go of lust that you sling, like a gun on the hip
Fired off, the bullet wounding
so that crimson spots on white snow cluing
me in on a repetitious act,
oh fond rebellion!
Back again I am.
Stuck. Vile. Far.
Until-
Repentance dovetails and swells
and I'm a heap, in rags undone.

Holiness has raised its' fist,
I'm following the beacon home!
Home to the King with Kingdom Throne
To the Lord of skin and bone
To the Weaver of this tale
To my Maker, never frail.

And though I'm frail and frightened; lost
He split his Blood at highest cost.
Dwelling here all weights seem small;
the burden is easy, the yoke is full.
Abiding here, never to leave!
Beauty, fullness, rest in belief
and faith in nail-pierced hands
that free me from self-imposed tyranny
that free me from the enemy's cruelty
that free me from the world's frivolity.
so that I am

Covered by the weight
of love instead.

Thanks for sharing 'Winter Song' by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson via FB go to a friend of a friend of a friend in Pittsburg :) It is unspeakably beautiful and part of the inspiration for this poem- enjoy.

Where is your Thanksgiving Favorite grown?

My adviser asked our research group what our favorite traditional thanksgiving dishes were. I said mashed potatoes and gravy. Something about that dish is very comforting-- piled high, thick potatoes, whipped to perfection, layered with tasty gravy. It reminds me of family, Auntie Linda and Uncle Brad's house, and other fond memories.

Others loved stuffing (2), squash/sweet potatoes (1), and their mom's wild rice dish (1). Our research group member from Nepal preferred wine :) Another group member proudly explained that everything except the SALT on their table was grown in MN!

Linda Zellmer, Librarian at Western Illinois University, has done research on this exact point. Where is food coming from to get to your table? She has pulled together the birth places of Thanksgiving dinner items.

Looking at the location and concentration of growth are interesting! The darker the color, the more are grown there. If we couldn't ship food by truck, what would you eat in your home state?
What surprised you?

Take a look! Talk about it at your table! And let's be thankful this Thanksgiving!!

Great Conversations

Our God is great. He brings people and relationships into your life during different seasons…with different joys and different challenges.

I’m sharing some notes I took from a conversation with a man who directs a transitional prison ministry. I can’t commend him enough. Sharing a meal with him and his wife was …comparable, in my limited experience…to eating with Jesus. His Love for the Lord, practical experience, and wisdom blew me away. I hope can find some helpful gems in these notes, too, for your relationships.

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Boundaries.
Establish boundaries from the get go. Lay out boundaries for each relationship. This is where we are going: tell him* tough things. What desires do you have for the relationship? What expectations do you have for the relationship: what do you want? Be on the same page. It’s important to define the relationship for what it is. Don’t compromise on anything on your end, period. Know where you at. Attitude: this is going to be messy- God help us! God help us to be wise.

Accountability.
You are not doing people any good if you don’t call them out on issues. Be it pride or anything, help and sharpen your brother/sister who calls on the name of Christ! Being held accountable in every where: financially, with work, with relationships… PLOMS Disease: Poor Little Ol’ Me Syndrome. The cure is confronting it!

Discipleship.
If you have any amount of Christian life experience, you are mentoring. Don’t let the “buddy effect” diminish your relationship. Go the word: what does God’s word tell us? This is your backup; this is your foundation in speaking into someone’s life.

Addiction.
Cigarettes: not as much about health as about self-discipline. Think of how a $25 dollar a week habit ends up as a $1200 dollar a year expense.

Dependency.
Getting rides: health, family, job interview. Otherwise: self sufficiency through bussing or biking. It is an issue of self-sufficiency vs. dependence. (He was willing to take 9 buses across town to get dope, nothing would stand in his way. Is it the same now, for church and work and other things?) Don’t give gifts. Individuals can be a crutch. It is easy to give people things. It is not about your giving heart, but about getting things without earning them.

Transition.
Coming out of prison, where you make 300 decisions a day, to life, where we make 3000 decisions a day. It’s a big difference. Structure is really important for this transition process, and those without structure often flounder and go back to prison (recidivism).

Opportunities.
There is the MN Workforce Center (on Chicago and other locations) where you can look for a job for free and get resources. There are also life skills classes, about budgeting. Providing a financial mentor.

Warning.
With a violent background, be careful. Things can happen. Also, no alone time with opposite sexes. Limit time to mixed company, in groups.

Prayer.
Pray for guys in prison! For example, spend one night in prayer for him. Week after week it can be “needs, needs, needs.” And one of the unseen needs is prayer.

Get in the Word.
Take time, right away, to study the Bible. At least 15 minutes of hard-core study. That is going to do more good than chatting for an hour.

*Him here is used generically—it is the him or her you are relating to, they may be transitioning from prison, or they may just be a person with overwhelming needs that you are seeking to support and love.

Lyrical Visions Continued: Too much

The artistic process continues. Click on the title for a Youtube audio, and here for live video.
This song inspired me to think about themes of this work as enforcing repetition, bold lines, mono-chromatic + red color scheme, and a chaotic/over-whelming feel.

I wish I could do this full-time! But apparently if you are a graphic-designer, your work is client driven, and bottom-line limited. I think doing it for fun keeps that magic- but maybe I should take a class to learn more about possibilities I'm not even aware of yet!