Mined Light

mind maze
mined matter

darkened eyes lies disguised
patterns and shapes and kythes 

path of thought
forgotten width-depth-height; hindered sight
until crashing down, the weight 
of stone

crushing loneliness
evicting unworthiness
eradicating confusion

this costly cornerstone 
for the foundation, firmly placed
he who believes in It 
will not be disturbed

no haste or shaking
only panting for his saving
for relief from the burden
a satisfying of the yearnin'

come to me all who are weary
and heavy laden, 
and I will give you
rest

darkened night
sorrow-filled until
dawn's first light
thoughts put right

October 2018

balk
until i get the answer right
and written

crash and count off
narrowed vision and stubborn slumber
we are our own limiters
and i can't collect all the shattered pieces 

scattered leftovers, not a legacy
crumpled shafts of light
the voice raised 
to closed ears
still must speak 

puncture the pressure
the despair turning corners
as un-pragmatic as this, 
love.

The place (version 2)

the place i'm at with myself / not a physical place
though i physically feel my space
feeling and being 
at least in consciousness in this knowing instant
being; been and to be
my peace with who I am, who I’m not 
where I’m at, what I’ve wrought
i am more at peace with myself
lighter, righter
that is to say, my relationship with my heart? 

am i living from my heart?
am i trusting and believing
am i true to who you made me to be? 
am i authentically living out this life, this gift, as You intended?

oh fearsome failure,
repentance saves me, your grip never leaves me
alcohol burns away
and we are left with a fragrant remnant
like vanilla in the cake
indelible
it's the naming, 
it's the scaring- 
it's the proclaiming

my God you are a person,
in me,
my soul, you are, me?
do i believe?
do i name?
the place, the shape?
nearer, nearer still to you, my Love
though i know not where
i believe.

The place (version 1)

the place i'm at with myself / not a physical place
though i physically feel my space

the place i'm at is myself
the feelings about this shelf
of bones and sinews, hair and skin
of eyes and nose, tears and throat
of lips and voice, expressions
aging, weight-gaining and leaning
scarring, aches and pain, receding glory

the place i'm at in myself
the seed that makes me unique
the soul / location unknown: loins, heart, brain?
residing of mind, emotions, and will
mystery still
though, me?
at least in consciousness in this instant
being; to be

the place i see for myself
making a name, fame, a title claim
professional skills, CV, LinkedIn network
referrals and influence
power and sycophants

the place i'm at
My peace with who I am, who I’m not
Where I’m at, what I’ve wrought
Has increased, as in, I have more peace
I am more at peace with myself
The place I’m at with myself is better
Lighter, righter

The place I’m at with myself
That is to say, my relationship with my heart?
personality?
semblence of habit and memory
what is this construct, contextual concept
constricting
confabulating
circulating- body, yes
soul (mind, emotions will)
spirit
(let's hear it)

maybe it is my soul I speak of (speak to)
my God you are a person,
in me,
my soul, you are, me?
what place, what shape?
where to live on, to taste?

nearer, nearer still to you, my love
requires this
recognition
decision
of surrender
to Lordship
to the place, the grace
of self-less self-face

Nil sine Numine

yes,
you have learned
from a lifetime of breaking
shattered; rebuilding
kindness carving
dross removing

yes,
you have forgotten
weary alongside longsuffering and
disappointment

yes,
you have a hope
and a promise
surer than
the rising sun

How great

Traipsing down an aisle of no small promises.
This is a long walk.
Behold, He is with you both
to the end of the age.

Untitled

Trying to speak to you 
Words like slivers of light
Bright but never illuminating
Vocabulary won’t suffice
One sight; 
Undone.
Unburden this expectation;
One poem can’t contain
The expanse of your frame
Distrust every language to explain
The never-ending refrain;
Holy.