D e b r i e f i n g - being invited to process, understand, sort, and discover meaning.
Taking time to feel and think through these questions is work. It takes energy to process. Yet the clarity and vulnerability you enter into will be worth it. Holding space for yourself and your thoughts and emotions is worth it. The story you tell yourself about this relationship matters, and it is crucial to weave together truth and compassion. May these questions bring new insight and clarity in your journey.
G u i d a n c e
-Don't rush. You can do this in bit size chunks.
-Do this in a safe space so you can freely express yourself through screams, sobs, and silence.
-Give permission. Speak out loud to your body: "body, I give you permission to release the emotions you've stored inside" This can help release the stored stress and tension in your muscles
-Feel your emotions in your body. Be aware.
-Respond with compassion. (Validate, acknowledge... "it makes so much sense I feel...")
-Speak the truth ("the truth is....I tried my best...I am worthy....I am loved...")
-Rest. (Seriously, try and give yourself permission to nap, go to bed early, and give yourself time).
-Repeat.
-This is not a one-size fits all instruction, it is a starting point for processing. Take it where you need to go.
-This is not a one-time exercise (check that box and I'm done, woo! I wish), and you don't have to put a timeline on when you're "over it." There are no right timelines. It will take the time it takes. (Yes, that can suck).
-If you find yourself "shoulding"- judging, condemning, ridiculing, or criticizng, just pause. There is likely some shameful lie that is taking over. Return to breathing and seek out the truth- "what does unconditional love say to this?"
Q u e s t i o n s
What are 1-2 things I learned about myself through this relationship?
How was I invited to grow and change in this relationship?
What did I gain in this relationship? (i.e. new perspectives, appreciation, companionship.)
What did I give up in this relationship? (i.e. sacrifices, things minimized)
What does the future look like- and what might God be saying about it?
